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Hasbro & Marvel have made a 600-phrase animatronic Deadpool head, and I need it NOW.

Did YOU eat the rest of the guac?!?

Have you ever said to yourself,

"Self, I wish I could own the severed head of my favorite chimichanga-loving anti-hero!" ...wait. You have said that? Ok, well I'm gonna get you the number for my therapist...right AFTER I make your dreams come true! In an incredible moment of 18+ toy collector glory, Hasbro and Marvel have joined forces to bring you Deadpool's Head- a talking, light-sensitive, app-controlled interactive head...and before you even ask, it doesn't sound like Ryan Reynolds voiced the toy but it's pretty good nonetheless.

Retailing for $99.99 on Amazon, here's a brief synopsis of the item that I definitely didn't just buy right now.

Here's the 90's-licious infomercial style video from Entertainment Earth:

  • IT’S, LIKE, SO PREMIUM, YOU GUYS: Have you ever wanted to own a piece of me, Deadpool? Now you can, you lucky stiff. This Marvel Legends Deadpool’s Head Premium Interactive Head is your ticket to nerd supremacy

  • MY HEAD MOVES TO AND FRO, LIKE A BALLERINA: Hath a Deadpool’s Head not eyes? It does! And it’s filled with motors and sensors, for all that sweet sweet expressive movement and interactivity! Just like your head, I assume

  • THE SUITS TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THERE ARE OVER 600 SOUNDS AND PHRASES (in English only): It’s important for you to know that Deadpool’s Head talks a lot, unlike what happened in that movie we absolutely can’t reference by name. You know the one

  • APP ENHANCED FOR YOUR PLEASURE: Using my free app (that’s right, no excuses) you can get me to do and say a bunch of [CENSORED], jokes, pranks, and insults! (App in English only)

  • LET’S INTERACT, BABY: With all these amaaaaazing features, I bet you can’t wait to click the little button and add me to your cart

That's literally the Amazon listing from Marvel Classic.

It's almost like we are being duped into buying an R-rated Furby all over again, and I'm HERE for it.

Paul Brown is the founder of Kulture Popped and owner of Spotlight Marketing Solutions, LLC- an Atlantic City-based marketing and web design agency.

Follow Paul on Instagram at @pb609

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